"A New Hand" by David 'Doc' Luben, of Portland (formerly of Prescott) at the Aug. 5, 2013 Vancouver Poetry Slam

 

"A New Hand" by David 'Doc' Luben, of Portland (formerly of Prescott) at the Aug. 5, 2013 Vancouver Poetry Slam

"A New Hand" 

they gave me this new hand

turns out they can do that now

the one thing the

Rebel Alliance has 

over the evil Empire

we've got great medical droids

they've had a lot more practice

i tested the fingers

it worked

perfect

no one ever told me 

that if I lost a piece

they could just slap another one on

I feel like I've wasted a lot of energy

defending parts of myself 

that I didn't even know were disposable

it's not the first time 

that me and my dad have fought

I wish I could tell you that I'm different 

that I am special 

but the truth is we fight 

about the same things 

that all fathers and sons 

fight about 

he wants me to be more like him

he doesn't like my friends

he doesn't understand

that I don't want to do the things that he does 

that I would be bored as shit

walking down the corridors of power

lording myself over a bunch of weasels

in identical gray suits 

who stand around on balconies and catwalks 

trying to look important 

as though their life depended on it 

I'm not going to be some 

pillbox hat middle manager 

waiting for the day when the life 

is finally choked out of me

I'm a pilot

that's all I ever wanted

I can fly fast ships 

and hit small targets 

when I'm in the zone

I wish he could see it with his own eyes 

nothing can touch me 

it feels like I can bend space 

just by thinking 

I'm not a leader 

I'm not cut out for business 

I don't want other people depending on me 

to show them the way 

I grew up on a planet of loneliness

and that is where I'm comfortable now

show me what you need to get exploded

and I'll find a way to explode it 

that's what I'm good for

he wants me to be more important

they all do 

they're all waiting for me

to pull off some magic trick 

that'll make everything work out 

and just like with any magician 

they don't want me 

to tell them how I did it 

everywhere I go

people keep telling me 

“trust your feelings” 

but it's the last thing that any of them want 

they want me 

to convince them to trust 

they need me to carry their fears 

they want me to be the general 

the princess

 the spiritual master 

the galaxy's fastest freight truck driver 

they want me 

to be the emperor's new clothes

they all just want me 

to be a stand-in

for them

that's why they gave me this hand

they didn't even tell me 

how much it would cost 

they acted like they would do it for anyone

but no one else I know 

has a hand like this

no one 

except him