She Only Loves Me When The Bars Close

she only loves me when the bars close
and no one else is willing to take her home
spilling drama Ibsen would envy
about this girl or that boy
who said or did something
we must deal with right away
even though the guilty parties
aren’t around to argue the contrary

she comes in the back door
as my roommates sleep oblivious to the impending Armageddon
soon to destroy us all
fights past all my contradictions
to slip into my satin sheets
and call me to bed
no matter whatever late-night duties require my attention
I just want to sleep
without a stranger’s tongue in my mouth
drift off to sleep alone and contented in my loneliness
without her arms wrapping envious tendrils around me
desperate for my attentions, tongue or cock
to remind her she’s human and wanted

I’ve lived my days without a woman
to make me feel like a man
just give me a soft pillow
and dreams of past lovers
or memories of travels
or fictional visions of potential futures
and I drift into dreamland
with a smile until dawn
but she calls me to bed
to wrap myself around her
hold her like all the lovers she’s left behind
I am not them
I am more than a body
with a hungry organ seeking a cathedral
to play my music in
while the seats sit empty of religious devotees
I don’t need the fictions
that tonight is the night two twin souls find each other
one drunk on whiskey
the other loaded up with gin
making long island iced tea love
ripe with thick cigarette smoke on our breath
to stink the air beneath the sheets

she slips off her clothes
throws her panties to floor
as if the only key I needed to her moistness
was the lack of a cotton barrier

my hips learned the motions
the thrust and throb of hips
from wise women who could have taught
a hundred thousand men
the way to love properly
I have been a student of masters
who still make my head spin
years after they taught me how to play

one who showed me how a tongue can speak verse
by the way it flicks and glides across a clit
as if poetry was not the sound of words
but their movement in space
another who wanted to fuck everywhere but the bed
finding the best place of all
was an overloaded dryer
bouncing off-balance
while the buzzer went off every 15 minutes for hours
another who taught me the way to find perfect rhythm
is to pretend you’re a jazz trio
accompanying a polka band
while the titanic sinks

loving a woman with hips and skins
takes intention and concentration
but their arts are wasted when you are, too

she calls for lips
pops a pill to ease herself
pulls close my muscles
and wants the better parts of me
to fill her
but when the competition is eighty proof
I see no reason to trespass on her intoxication
I want to love her
but her stories change too fast to trust

she stretches her limbs
rubs below my belt
to awaken what she thinks she wants
and opens her anime eyes to my otaku desires
but I’ve seen the way this ends
and no one in Neo-Tokyo lives to tell the tale
I am more than her cartoon perfect playmate
I’ve seen her pull the football out from her Charlie Browns
only she’s left unsatisfied and oblivious
while they go off to find
little red-haired girls to love

she treats her pussy like a daytrip destination
instead of somewhere one wants to live
pay a mortgage,
build a white-picket fence
and eventually retire
we’ve all gotten postcards
from those who’ve been there before
and the mystery has become a cheap tourist trap
we only visit for the novelty
of saying we’ve been there, done that

she spreads her legs
to spill honey
but she’s only catching flies
so I zip mine up
and sleep on the couch
by myself at least I’m with someone who loves me
for what I dream of
not what I dangle between my lonely thighs

she only loves me when the bars close
only calls after 2 a.m.
and I can tell her time zone
by checking the clock
each message begins with slurs
about missing me with extra “s”s
and how much she hates me for not calling back by three
but how much she loves me, but hates me, but loves me
whatever my name is tonight

she curses my lovers
points at their photos and says they’ll never love me again
but that’s not why I keep them
they loved me once
and that’s all I have in the end
she hates my wall-hanging lovers
because she hasn’t been one of them

she doesn’t remember
the night I let go of these rules
slipped part of me into her
and watched her writhe with joy
as her hips shook uncontrollably over and over and over
she asked me the next morning if we fucked
they way you’d ask someone
if they’d read a news story
or seen a movie
or cleaned the rain gutters last year
if she can’t remember
why remind her

I’ve fucked for fun
and for curiosity
but not to be forgotten
I don’t need any more stamps in my passport
and I’ve visited countries like hers before

she only loves me when the bars close
but I don’t serve what she’s drinking
I only save her a barstool
pour water and soda until she’s so drunk on her own vintage
that she doesn’t know what year it is
drifts off to sleep in my arms
only then is she finally honest enough
for me to trust her
only unconscious, still and silent
do I believe what she has to say
only then
when she can’t contradict me a thousand ways
I whisper what she wants to hear

She Only Loves Me When the Bars Close

I've been writing poetry for nearly a decade and I generally stay away from graphic sexual content or references; I think it's part of my conservative childhood. I avoid words that directly reference sex, but my relationship with the girl in this poem seems to revolve around sex exclusively despite my attempts to make it more meaningful.
As such, I include these references in the poem for dramatic effect.

--Contains sexual content and strong language--

She Only Loves Me When the Bars Close
Of Ashley Wintermute

she only loves me when the bars close
and no one else is willing to take her home
spilling drama Ibsen would envy
about this girl or that boy
who said or did something
we must deal with right away
even though the guilty parties
aren’t around to argue the contrary

she comes in the back door
as my roommates sleep oblivious to the impending Armageddon
soon to destroy us all
fights past all my contradictions
to slip into my satin sheets
and call me to bed
no matter whatever late-night duties require my attention
I just want to sleep
without a stranger’s tongue in my mouth
drift off to sleep alone and contented in my loneliness
without her arms wrapping envious tendrils around me
desperate for my attentions, tongue or cock
to remind her she’s human and wanted

I’ve lived my days without a woman
to make me feel like a man
just give me a soft pillow
and dreams of past lovers
or memories of travels
or fictional visions of potential futures
and I drift into dreamland
with a smile until dawn
but she calls me to bed
to wrap myself around her
hold her like all the lovers she’s left behind
I am not them
I am more than a body
with a hungry organ seeking a cathedral
to play my music in
while the seats sit empty of religious devotees
I don’t need the fictions
that tonight is the night two twin souls find each other
one drunk on whiskey
the other loaded up with gin
making long island iced tea love
ripe with thick cigarette smoke on our breath
to stink the air beneath the sheets

she slips off her clothes
throws her panties to floor
as if the only key I needed to her moistness
was the lack of a cotton barrier

my hips learned the motions
the thrust and throb of hips
from wise women who could have taught
a hundred thousand men
the way to love properly
I have been a student of masters
who still make my head spin
years after they taught me how to play

one who showed me how a tongue can speak verse
by the way it flicks and glides across a clit
as if poetry was not the sound of words
but their movement in space
another who wanted to fuck everywhere but the bed
finding the best place of all
was an overloaded dryer
bouncing off-balance
while the buzzer went off every 15 minutes for hours
another who taught me the way to find perfect rhythm
is to pretend you’re a jazz trio
accompanying a polka band
while the titanic sinks

loving a woman with hips and skins
takes intention and concentration
but their arts are wasted when you are, too

she calls for lips
pops a pill to ease herself
pulls close my muscles
and wants the better parts of me
to fill her
but when the competition is eighty proof
I see no reason to trespass on her intoxication
I want to love her
but her stories change too fast to trust

she stretches her limbs
rubs below my belt
to awaken what she thinks she wants
and opens her anime eyes to my otaku desires
but I’ve seen the way this ends
and no one in Neo-Tokyo lives to tell the tale
I am more than her cartoon perfect playmate
I’ve seen her pull the football out from her Charlie Browns
only she’s left unsatisfied and oblivious
while they go off to find
little red-haired girls to love

she treats her pussy like a daytrip destination
instead of somewhere one wants to live
pay a mortgage,
build a white-picket fence
and eventually retire
we’ve all gotten postcards
from those who’ve been there before
and the mystery has become a cheap tourist trap
we only visit for the novelty
of saying we’ve been there, done that

she spreads her legs
to spill honey
but she’s only catching flies
so I zip mine up
and sleep on the couch
by myself at least I’m with someone who loves me
for what I dream of
not what I dangle between my lonely thighs

she only loves me when the bars close
only calls after 2 a.m.
and I can tell her time zone
by checking the clock
each message begins with slurs
about missing me with extra “s”s
and how much she hates me for not calling back by three
but how much she loves me, but hates me, but loves me
whatever my name is tonight

she curses my lovers
points at their photos and says they’ll never love me again
but that’s not why I keep them
they loved me once
and that’s all I have in the end
she hates my wall-hanging lovers
because she hasn’t been one of them

she doesn’t remember
the night I let go of these rules
slipped part of me into her
and watched her writhe with joy
as her hips shook uncontrollably over and over and over
she asked me the next morning if we fucked
they way you’d ask someone
if they’d read a news story
or seen a movie
or cleaned the rain gutters last year
if she can’t remember
why remind her

I’ve fucked for fun
and for curiosity
but not to be forgotten
I don’t need any more stamps in my passport
and I’ve visited countries like hers before

she only loves me when the bars close
but I don’t serve what she’s drinking
I only save her a barstool
pour water and soda until she’s so drunk on her own vintage
that she doesn’t know what time it is
drifts off to sleep in my arms
only then is she finally honest enough
for me to trust her
only unconscious, still and silent
do I believe what she has to say
only then
when she can’t contradict me a thousand ways
I whisper what she wants to hear

Mad Mahatma

I knew Gandhi back when he was a fighter
throwing fists in dark, low bars
with bikers and Brits alike
no one called him "the short guy"
without getting a knuckle across the jaw
he was fun in those days
a raging booze hound, his drink of choice
was a screwdriver, straight up
no waitress could pass by
without him grabbing a feel
ah - what a hell raiser
we called him the Mad Mahatma
he could run a pool table blindfolded,
while reciting the Bhagavah Gita
backwards
they said he was the toughest tiger
this side of the Ganges
and he was

i remember the time we got loaded
and drove halfway to Bombay
in a stolen car with a bottle of SoCo
and three six-packs of Natty Ice in the front seat
there was that brief car chase with the cops
in some nameless suburb
after we ran a stop light
sideswiped a rickshaw
and didn't stop to swap information
if it wasn't for his aim with a .38
into the left front tire of the lead cruiser
we might have served some time
instead of waking up hours later
in the shadow of an elephant herd
eyeing us with contempt
we ate well that night

ah, Mad Mahatma,
the man who mixed raw eggs with his
long island iced teas
claiming it cured hangovers
Mad Mahatma
who busted down a bookie's door
for no more than 37 rupees he was owed
Mad Mahatma
who got me drunk and tattooed
"reincarnate this"
across my ass
Mad Mahatma
where have you gone?
Mad Mahatma
where are you now?
Mad Mahatma
i'm tired of drinking alone

Cut out my heart and leave it in a gin and tonic on top of a Dave Matthews Band CD

This is beauty,
the way skin bounces off clouds
shouted to a thickened sky
of a heaven too tired to listen
and I feel a step closer to god
when i contemplate our creation

you know we were made in the image
of a drunk deity
who didn't know her/is right from her/is left
tried to shorten our days with death and plague
but we kept coming back
till s/he woke in a hangover
and realized what s/he'd done
was a little, um, crazy at the time
a little short on the why’s and how’s
of how we came to be
left us between two dead soldiers of Sam Adams light
on her/is best friend's neighbor's kitchen counter
'cause s/he was watching her/is figure
tries to hide her/is face in the bar
when we come staggering through,
asking to use the phone.
and begging the bartender to serve us the wine
of the vine that softened judas' loyalty
then asking the gravedigger to bury us
close enough to count raindrops
of the days till judgment
when pulled from the soil like treasure
we can recall our days before it all went downhill
and convince the final judge
that we're worth sparing
worth including in the finality
then sing a song
soft enough to make the towers crumbles,
tarnish those pearly gates
and force the whole mess
to come crashing down
when heaven falls
the boom will resound through history
in our heartbeats,
and the echoes will come 72 per minute
there,
put your hand on your sternum
can you feel the echo in your chest?
the end has already happened
now we're just words arching toward that final
"the end"
before the acknowledgements,
index,
and afterward from the publisher,
characters on a page.
and tonight,
I glimpse the reader's eyes

Round 4

Unfortunately, the tape failed before Round 4 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.

There is no video recording of Lauren Perry from Phoenix, Maya Asher from Tucson, Tristan Marshell from Mesa, Brian from Flagstaff, myself (Christopher Fox Graham) from Sedona, nor sorbet poet Tara Pollock or the victory poem by Team Sedona poet Sevan Aydinian.

Poet Kaila Haas

Kaila Haas,
a 2007 graduate of Sedona Red Rock High School and a current resident of the Village of Oak Creek.
Sorbet poet between rounds 3 and 4 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Neil Gearns

Neil Gearns, representing Team Mesa in Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Lindsay Miller

Tucson Slam Master Lindsay Miller representing Team Tucson in Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Megan Reynolds

Megan Reynolds representing Team Phoenix in Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Sevan Aydinian

Sevan Aydinian representing Team Sedona in Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Sevan Aydinian

Maple Dewleaf

Maple Dewleaf representing Team Flagstaff in Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.



Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Terence Pratt redeux

Terence Pratt as the second sorbet poet after intermission and before Round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.



Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Host Danielle Miller

The slam's host, Danielle Miller, reads a poem to kick off the second half of the slam after intermission. Miller is a local actress and poet.
Sorbet poet before round 3 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.



Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Madaleine Beckwith

Madaleine Beckwith represented Team Phoenix in Round 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Dan Seaman

Dan Seaman representing Team Sedona in Round 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.
This was my favorite poem of the night.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Evan

Evan representing Team Flagstaff in Round 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.

(To skip the microphone stand problems, advance to time index 1:10, and then ignore me running around like an idiot after Evan finishes)



Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Jonathan Standiford

Jonathan Standiford representing Team Mesa in Round 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Mickey Randleman

Mickey Randleman representing Team Tucson in Round 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Jen Valencia

Jen Valencia,
a poet, graphic designer, and resident of the Village of Oak Creek.
Sorbet poet between rounds 1 and 2 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.



Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com

Team Flagstaff

A group poem by Team Flagstaff, comprised of Evan, Faldwin, Brian and Maple Dewleaf in Round 1 at the Old Town Shootout, Saturday, Dec. 13, at the Old Town Center for the Arts, in Cottonwood, Arizona.


Video courtesy of Apollo Poetry, of TravelingPoet.com