This is the official blog of Northern Arizona slam poet Christopher Fox Graham. Begun in 2002, and transferred to blogspot in 2006, FoxTheBlog has recorded more than 670,000 hits since 2009. This blog cover's Graham's poetry, the Arizona poetry slam community and offers tips for slam poets from sources around the Internet. Read CFG's full biography here. Looking for just that one poem? You know the one ... click here to find it.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

GumptionFest VII issues call for artists, volunteers and vendors

GumptionFest VII issues call for artists, volunteers and vendors

GumptionFest, Sedona’s largest free, community arts festival takes place along Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 14, 15 and 16.
GumptionFest VII: A New Hope is opening the call to all artists who want to participate. Performers should contact GumptionFest organizers now to voice their interest in performing. The deadline for all performers to get in is Wednesday, Aug. 1.
Vendors are also invited to come to display and sell their wares to the estimated 1,200 attendees.
This year’s festival is expected to be the biggest ever, expanding from the main stage at Oak Creek Brewing Co. to other locations along State Route 89A: Olde Sedona Bar & Grill, Szechuan Martini Bar, Heart of Sedona coffee shop, outside New Frontiers Natural Marketplace and the outdoor stage at the Old Marketplace.
The festival features some of the most well-known names in the Sedona and Verde Valley as well as regional artists from Flagstaff and Phoenix, and other performers from Kingman and Los Angeles. The artists include singers, songwriters, performance poets, rock bands, painters, sculptors and fire-spinning performance artists. Poets are welcome to compete in the fourth annual Haiku Death Match poetry slam.
However, what makes GumptionFest unique among Arizona arts festivals is that anyone who wants to play music, perform poetry, display art or dance is eagerly invited to participate. Talent levels are not important: participants range from full-time professional artists and musicians and published poets to recreational artists, part-time photographers and those who pen poems in private journals.
Youth and teen artists are strongly encouraged to participate whether they aim to become professional artists as adults or just create art, write poetry or play music to pass the time.
The GumptionFest VII kickoff party begins Friday, Sept. 14.
GumptionFest VII officially starts on Saturday, Sept. 15, with performances all day long. GumptionFest VII Day Two continues the party on Sunday, Sept. 16, with a whole new lineup.
Volunteers are also still needed this year, so even those who don’t play an instrument, paint, sculpt or write poems can help and be a part of one of the largest free arts festival in Sedona.
Organizers for GumptionFest VII: A New Hope invite visual artists, photographers, dancers and dance troupes, musicians, bands, theater groups and poets who want to be a part of the festival for either one, two, or all three days to attend and spontaneously create or perform.
To participate, volunteer or contribute as a sponsor, contact GumptionFest@gmail.com or visit gumptionfest.org or GumptionFest on Facebook.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Valence wins the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam

Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas wins the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam held Saturday, June 16, 2012, at the Mary D. Fisher Theatre in Sedona, Arizona.
Photo courtesy of MaryCae Vignolini
2012 Sedona Grand Slam Champion Tyler Sirvinskas, aka Valence, performs at the 2011 National Poetry Slam in Cambridge, Mass.
The 2012 Sedona National Poetry Slam Team members are:
Valence, Evan Dissinger, Josh Wiss, Frank O'Brien and Spenser Troth.


Benediction: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona, "Welcome to the Church of the Word"
Round 1
Draw based on season's point rankings

Calibration: Shaun "nodalone" Sristava, of Flagstaff
Calibration: Jackson Morris, of Flagstaff
Calibration: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona, "Spinal Language"
Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff, 21.8, 1:32, 11th, -7.1
Gary Every, of Sedona, 23.7, 22.7 after 1.0-point time penalty, 3:24, 10th, -5.2
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 3:06, tie 3rd, -0.6
Spenser Troth, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 27.3 after 1.0-point time penalty, 3:21, tie 3rd, -0.6
Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff, 26.8, 2:41, 8th -2.1
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 26.4, 2:18, 9th, -2.5
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 27.5, 2:59, tie 6th, -1.4
The Klute, of Phoenix, 28.3, 27.8 after 0.5-point time penalty, 3:15, tie 3rd, -0.6
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 27.5,  2:51, tie 6th, -1.4
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 28.9, 2:18, 1st, 0.0
Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, of Flagstaff, 28.5, 2:54, 2nd, -0.4

Round 2
Reverse Order
Sorbet: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona, "Dear Pluto"

Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 2:26, 56.8, 4th, -0.5
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 28.1, 2:39, 57.0, 3rd, -0.3

Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 28.3, 2:32, 55.8, 5th, -1.5
The Klute, of Phoenix, 29.4, 2:50, 57.2, 2nd, -0.1
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 27.8, 2:57, 55.3, 6th, -2.0
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 26.9, 2:46, 53.3, 9th, -4.0
Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff, 26.7, 2:59, 53.5, 8th, -3.8
Spenser Troth, of Flagstaff, 26.8, 2:33, 54.1, 7th, -3.2
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 29.0, 2:14, 57.3, 1st, 0.0
Gary Every, of Sedona, 27.0, 2:50, 49.7, 10th, -7.6
Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff, 25.8, 2:08, 47.6, 11th, -9.7

Round 3
High to Low
Sorbet: Christopher Fox Graham (poem) and Azami Ishihara (dance), of Sedona, "In the Corners of This Room."

Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 1:33, 85.6, 2nd, -0.4
The Klute, of Phoenix, 28.3, 2:47, 85.5, 3rd, -0.5
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 2:26, 85.3, 4th, -0.7

Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, of Flagstaff, 29.2, 2:47, 86., 1st, 0.0
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 27.6, 27.1 after 0.5-point time penalty, 3:16, 82.9, 6th, -3.1
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 28.8, 2:58, 84., 5th, -1.9
Spenser Troth, of Flagstaff, 28.3, 1:33, 82.4, 7th, -3.6
Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff, 28.6, 3:06, 82.1, 8th, -3.9
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 26.9, 2:28, 80.2, 9th, -5.8
Gary Every, of Sedona, 27.6, 1:54, 77.3, 10th, -8.7
Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff, 27.3, 1:54, 74.9, -11.1

Final Scores
Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, of Flagstaff, 86.0
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 85.6
The Klute, of Phoenix, 85.5
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 85.3
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 84.1
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 82.9
Spenser Troth, of Flagstaff, 82.4
Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff, 82.1
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 80.2
Gary Every, of Sedona, 77.3
Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff, 74.9

(The Klute and Lauren Perry declined to join the team, bumping Frank O'Brien and Spencer Troth to the team as alternates).

Photo by Jonathan Weiskopf.
Tyler Sirvinskas aka Valence performs at the 2011 National Poetry Slam in Cambridge, Mass.
Tyler Sirvinskas aka Valence, was a member of the 2011 Flagstaff National Poetry Slam team. He is the top-ranked poet competing in the Sedona grand slam

Evan Dissinger. Photo by Kelly Watts.
Evan Dissinger is one of the preeminent voices in the Flagstaff poetry scene. A skateboard rat in Flagstaff, Dissinger is one of the most sincere poets in Arizona with a knack for making conventional experiences sublime.

Josh Wiss
Joshua Wiss’ infectious enthusiasm for life is evident in his energetic performances. A recent graduate of NAU with a degree in creative writing, Wiss performed at every Sedona Poetry Slam this season and was ranked No. 2 going into the grand slam.

Frank O'Brien
A poet’s poet, Frank O’Brien writes with a profound simplicity. O’Brien won the 2008 and 2009 Flagstaff Grand Slams, and competed at three national poetry slams from 2008 to 2010.

Spencer Troth
A political science student at NAU, Spencer Troth’s introspective work brings compassion to his views of current events, such as a poem touching on the double murder outside Sedona in January. Troth will be taking his poetic voice overseas as a political science student in France next year.

    Chuck Norris plays Mario Cart

    Saturday, June 16, 2012

    Buy your tickets now for today's Sedona Poetry Grand Slam


     The biggest, most energetic poetry event to hit Sedona is coming to the Mary D. Fisher Theatre at 7 p.m., Saturday, June 16:

    The 2012 Sedona Poetry Grand Slam.

    The top 12 slam poets in Arizona will compete in three rounds in front five judges randomly selected from the audience who assign numerical value to individual performances.
    At the end of the night, the top four poets will represent Sedona at the weeklong National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C., in August. There, Sedona’s four representatives will compete against more than 350 of the best performance poets from the United States and Canada.
    At nationals, poets perform both solo and group poems, creating complex, dynamic performances.
    For the last sixth months, poets from all over Arizona have been competing in Sedona, earning points for the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam. Only the top 12 of the nearly 50 competitors made the cut for this invitation-only contest.
    Poetry slam is unlike any other poetry event you’ve ever seen. Slam poetry isn’t enigmatic and esoteric like in a college literature class with rhyme and meter, but an energetic blend of spoken word, theater and performance art.
    In each three-minute performance of their original work, poets aim to make audiences laugh, cheer, cry or get chills down their spines. The performers are not permitted to use props, costumes or musical accompaniment, relying instead on their own words and inflections.
    Poems range from explosively humorous to deeply personal to wryly political, with styles from hip-hop to narrative storytelling. All types of poetry are welcome. Audience reaction is just as important to a high score as the poetry itself, so the crowd is encouraged to not remain silent, but cheer, boo and engage with the poets’ on stage.

    Tickets are $15, available online at studiolivesedona.com. Proceeds help fund the team’s trip to Charlotte. Additional donations will gladly be accepted.
    The 2012 slam season and the grand slam is cosponsored by the Sedona Performing Arts Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

    The Mary D. Fisher Theatre is located at 2030 W. SR 89A, near Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona. For more information, call (928) 282-2688. For videos from past slams and updates about the grand slam, visit foxthepoet.blogspot.com.

    Sunday, June 3, 2012

    Buy your tickets the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam now and pick your seat

     The biggest, most energetic poetry event to hit Sedona is coming to the Mary D. Fisher Theatre at 7 p.m., Saturday, June 16:

    The 2012 Sedona Poetry Grand Slam.

    The top 12 slam poets in Arizona will compete in three rounds in front five judges randomly selected from the audience who assign numerical value to individual performances.
    At the end of the night, the top four poets will represent Sedona at the weeklong National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C., in August. There, Sedona’s four representatives will compete against more than 350 of the best performance poets from the United States and Canada.
    At nationals, poets perform both solo and group poems, creating complex, dynamic performances.
    For the last sixth months, poets from all over Arizona have been competing in Sedona, earning points for the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam. Only the top 12 of the nearly 50 competitors made the cut for this invitation-only contest.
    Poetry slam is unlike any other poetry event you’ve ever seen. Slam poetry isn’t enigmatic and esoteric like in a college literature class with rhyme and meter, but an energetic blend of spoken word, theater and performance art.
    In each three-minute performance of their original work, poets aim to make audiences laugh, cheer, cry or get chills down their spines. The performers are not permitted to use props, costumes or musical accompaniment, relying instead on their own words and inflections.
    Poems range from explosively humorous to deeply personal to wryly political, with styles from hip-hop to narrative storytelling. All types of poetry are welcome. Audience reaction is just as important to a high score as the poetry itself, so the crowd is encouraged to not remain silent, but cheer, boo and engage with the poets’ on stage.

    Tickets are $15, available online at studiolivesedona.com. Proceeds help fund the team’s trip to Charlotte. Additional donations will gladly be accepted.
    The 2012 slam season and the grand slam is cosponsored by the Sedona Performing Arts Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

    The Mary D. Fisher Theatre is located at 2030 W. SR 89A, near Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona. For more information, call (928) 282-2688. For videos from past slams and updates about the grand slam, visit foxthepoet.blogspot.com.

    Monday, May 28, 2012

    Buy a copy of my new poetry book "The Opposite of Camouflage"

    What did I do on my holiday? Made a new book, "The Opposite of Camouflage."


    16 poems in a 52-page bound book, available for $9.99

    Poems included:
    • Welcome to the Church of the Word
    • Manifesto of an Addict
    • We Call Him Papa
    • Spinal Language
    • Ragnarok
    • The Peach
    • Breakfast Cereal
    • In the Corners of This Room
    • Three Minutes for Dylan
    • Do You Have a Baseball Bat?
    • My Hands are in the Mail
    • The Devil’s Gardens
    • Revolution 2.0
    • Staring at the Milky Way with One Eye Closed
    • Dear Pluto
    • They Held Hands
    Special thanks to Big Pappa E for suggesting the title.

    Sunday, May 27, 2012

    "Manifesto of an Addict" by Christopher Fox Graham

    you see I’ve got a problem
    I’m addicted to that one thing
    that everything that true thing
    every moment I’m looking for another fix
    wandering from here to there
    trying to get just one more hit
    you see I'm addicted to humanity
    it’s just this power that overwhelms
    this power that draws me in
    I don’t know what it is
    I can’t escape
    humanity has me addicted
    every time I kiss a girl
    talk to a friend
    hear the story of a stranger
    I get just that much more addicted
    and it’s just that much harder to break myself away

    when a 75-year-old black man
    tells me how he earned a vicious scar on his face
    from a near-lynching in 1952
    just outside Birmingham, Alabama
    I get more addicted
    his story
    that human story
    draws me in

    when a mother of two
    tells me what it was like
    to explain her boys
    that daddy is never coming home again
    because semi-trucks don’t leave survivors
    I get more addicted
    her story
    that human story
    draws me in

    when an elderly Jewish matriarch
    tells me what was like
    to grow up in a Polish concentration camp
    to see her family get shot
    then rolls up her sleeve to reveal a tattoo of
    4
    7
    3
    2
    8
    carved in the flesh
    of her forearm
    her story draws me
    in every gesture
    every feature
    every wrinkle crease earned through survival
    draws me in
    like a moth to a flame,
    like a comet to a star

    I can’t escape
    I tried once
    I tried to withdraw once
    ever gone through human withdrawal?
    I left the world for a day
    and it almost killed me
    I couldn’t function
    I couldn’t act
    I couldn’t breathe
    I couldn’t walk
    I couldn’t talk
    do you know what it’s like
    for a poet who cannot talk?
    a poet who cannot talk
    who cannot write
    is dead

    I had to come back
    my addiction keeps me alive
    do you know how easy is to get this stuff?
    they don’t even sell it
    they give it away
    I can’t round a corner without getting another hit
    and it’s killing me

    if I could break his addiction
    I could live forever
    but what would my life be like without my humanity?
    they say we’re all made to die, does that mean we’re all addicted?
    are you?
    are you?
    are you?
    I am
    I my love my addiction
    I want to experience the stories of everyone
    because what differs us is just time and space
    I want to know what other possibilities my soul had
    before it chose this time
    this space
    this body to occupy
    I want to know
    I want more and more
    I want to do the lines of every human face
    I want to walk the features
    memorize the names
    live the stories that of every human who ever lived and I still want more

    I want to feast with Gilgamesh
    I want to besiege Troy
    I want to drink with Alexander
    I want to walk the halls of Camelot
    I want to meditate with Buddha
    I want to pray with Mohammed
    I want to burn with Joan of Arc
    I want to ride with Crazy Horse
    I want to stand in the streets of Hiroshima with 140,000 other human beings
    and feel the skies turn instantly
    into the wrath of God
    and want to sacrifice myself on Calvary
    and become your Messiah
    because God
    if there is one
    was just the first addict

    I love being addicted
    even if it’s going to kill me
    I ask for more
    I beg for more
    I would sell my soul for more
    but what makes this addiction my curse
    is that I’m just one man
    and I don’t have much time



    Christopher Fox Graham © 2000
    I guess I never posted this poem online before. Originally just a solo poem, I performed with Nick Fox and Chris Lane as a three-man group poem at the 2001 National Poetry Slam in Seattle.

    Monday, May 21, 2012

    The 2012 Sedona Poetry Grand Slam is coming Saturday, June 16


    The biggest, most energetic poetry event to hit Sedona is coming to the Mary D. Fisher Theatre at 7 p.m., Saturday, June 16:

    The 2012 Sedona Poetry Grand Slam.


    The top 12 slam poets in Arizona will compete in three rounds in front five judges randomly selected from the audience who assign numerical value to individual performances.
    At the end of the night, the top four poets will represent Sedona at the weeklong National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C., in August. There, Sedona’s four representatives will compete against more than 350 of the best performance poets from the United States and Canada. At nationals, poets perform both solo and group poems, creating complex, dynamic performances.
    For the last sixth months, poets from all over Arizona have been competing in Sedona, earning points for the Sedona Poetry Grand Slam. Only the top 12 of the nearly 50 competitors made the cut for this invitation-only contest.
    Poetry slam is unlike any other poetry event you’ve ever seen. Slam poetry isn’t enigmatic and esoteric like in a college literature class with rhyme and meter, but an energetic blend of spoken word, theater and performance art.
    In each three-minute performance of their original work, poets aim to make audiences laugh, cheer, cry or get chills down their spines. The performers are not permitted to use props, costumes or musical accompaniment, relying instead on their own words and inflections.
    Poems range from explosively humorous to deeply personal to wryly political, with styles from hip-hop to narrative storytelling. All types of poetry are welcome. Audience reaction is just as important to a high score as the poetry itself, so the crowd is encouraged to not remain silent, but cheer, boo and engage with the poets’ on stage.

    The Sedona Poetry Grand Slam competitors (in alphabetical order):
    • Evan Dissinger is one of the preeminent voices in the Flagstaff poetry scene. A skateboard rat in Flagstaff, Dissinger is one of the most sincere poets in Arizona with a knack for making conventional experiences sublime.
    • Lauren Hanss is one of the strong female voices in Flagstaff. An early education and creative writing student at NAU, Hanss is respected for her honest, confessional poetry.
    • Known for his political savvy and humorous poetry, The Klute performs all over the United States and Canada and featured at the Poetry Slam and the Sedona Public Library. A seasoned veteran, The Klute has been to the National Poetry Slam seven times, for the Mesa Slam Team in 2002, 2003, 2005 and 2006, and the Phoenix Slam Team in 2008, 2009 and 2010. He also won the grand slams in 2005 and 2010.
    • A poet’s poet, Frank O’Brien writes with a profound simplicity. O’Brien won the 2008 and 2009 Flagstaff Grand Slams, and competed at three national poetry slams from 2008 to 2010.
    • A veteran national competitor, Lauren Perry competed at the National Poetry Slam with the Mesa Poetry Slam Team in 2006, 2009 and 2010. She also proudly represented Sedona at the 2012 Women of the World Poetry Slam in Denver.
    • Kaye Pettit is a powerful female voice on the Flagstaff stage. A psychology major at NAU, she one of the most consistent performers in the scene.
    • Austin Reeves is an up-and-coming voice in both Sedona and Flagstaff. A coffee-loving creative writing student at NAU, Reeves has already made an impact, taking second at the last Sedona Poetry Slam in May.
    • Beginning in Flagstaff in 2005, Rowie Shebala has slammed all over Arizona. After graduating from NAU with a Bachelors of Science in Theater and a minor in English, she hosted the poetry slam in Gallup, N.M. On the national level, she competed at the 2009 Women of the World Poetry Slam in Detroit and as a member of the Mesa Slam Team in 2011.
    • Tyler Sirvinskas aka Valence, was a member of the 2011 Flagstaff National Poetry Slam team. He is the top-ranked poet competing in the Sedona grand slam.
    • A political science student at NAU, Spencer Troth’s introspective work brings compassion to his views of current events, such as a poem touching on the double murder outside Sedona in January. Troth will be taking his poetic voice overseas as a political science student in France next year.
    • Mikel Weisser is a school teacher from Kingman, an Occupy activist and a 2012 candidate for Arizona’s Congressional District 4. In conjunction with his congressional campaign and activist activities, Weisser schedules poetry performances all over the state.
    • Joshua Wiss’ infectious enthusiasm for life is evident in his energetic performances. A recent graduate of NAU with a degree in creative writing, Wiss performed at every Sedona Poetry Slam this season and is currently ranked No. 2.
    Audience members are encouraged to support their favorite poets from over the season.

    Photo by Harley Deuce
    The Sedona Poetry Grand Slam will be hosted by Sedona poet and
    slammaster Christopher Fox Graham, who represented Northern
    Arizona on the Flagstaff team at five National Poetry Slams between
    2001 and 2010 and recently the 2012 Flagstaff Grand Slam.
    The Sedona Poetry Grand Slam will be hosted by Sedona poet and slammaster Christopher Fox Graham, who represented Northern Arizona on the Flagstaff team at five National Poetry Slams between 2001 and 2010 and recently the 2012 Flagstaff Grand Slam.

    The opening calibration poem will be performed by Nodalone aka Shaun Srivastava, a two-time member of the Flagstaff National Poetry Slam Team.

    For more information about the slam, contact Graham at foxthepoet@yahoo.com.

    Founded in Chicago in 1984 by Marc Smith, a former construction worker, poetry slam has become an international artistic sport, with more than 100 major poetry slams in the United States, Canada, Australia and Western Europe.

    Tickets are $15, available online at studiolivesedona.com. Proceeds help fund the team’s trip to Charlotte. Additional donations will gladly be accepted.
    The 2012 slam season and the grand slam is cosponsored by the Sedona Performing Arts Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.
    The Mary D. Fisher Theatre is located at 2030 W. SR 89A, near Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona. For more information, call (928) 282-2688. For videos from past slams and updates about the grand slam, visit foxthepoet.blogspot.com.

    Monday, May 14, 2012

    Christopher Fox Graham and FlagSlam poets

    For the 2012-2013 Poets of FlagSlam calendar. Photos by Tara Graeber.
    Photo by Tara Graeber 
    Christopher Fox Graham and his poet renegades. From left, Josh Wiss has a .45-caliber pistol and 9 mm Beretta, Spencer Troth has a 9 mm H&K and a .22 Long rifle, Graham is armed with a modified WESTAR-34 blaster pistol, lightsaber, microphone and boot knife, Brian Walker has a crossbow. Azami wields a Remington 30-06 rifle, Nodalone has a Mossberg pistol-grip 12-gauge shotgun and throwing knives, Valence has a breech-loading shotgun and .45-caliber pistol and Lauren Hanss has a MP5 submachine gun.
    Photo by Tara Graeber 
    Christopher Fox Graham and Azami. Graham is armed with a modified WESTAR-34 blaster pistol, lightsaber, microphone and boot knife. Azami wields a Remington 30-06 rifle.

    More photos coming soon ....

    Wednesday, May 9, 2012

    Final Sedona National Poetry Slam Team standings

    These are the Sedona National Poetry Slam Team rankings. The higher the point totals, the later in the first round the poets will go at the Grand Slam, i.e., if nodalone quit FlagSlam and competed in Sedona, he’d be the last poet.
    In the event of a tie, I'll flip a coin a few days before the slam and announce the first round.

    The Grand Slam will be Saturday, June 16, at the Mary D. Fisher Theatre in Sedona, down the street from Studio Live. The slam starts promptly at 7 p.m., not 7:30 p.m. No feature. Based on time, there likely will be cuts going into the third round. Any poets with 1 point are eligible if fewer than 12 poets with more than 1 point elect not to slam, but they’ll be going in the first slots in the first round.

    We'll probably have more than one calibration poet as well, to give more poets stage time and to fight the dreaded score creep.

    Final Sedona National Poetry Slam Team standings

    11 points: nodalone, of Flagstaff(✓Qualified for FlagSlam team)
    9 points: Valence, of Flagstaff
    8 points: Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff
    7 points: Lauren Perry, of Phoenix
    7 points: Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix
    7 points: Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff(✓Qualified for FlagSlam team)
    6 points: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona(✓Qualified for FlagSlam team)
    6 points: The Klute, of Phoenix
    5 points: Frank O'Brien, of Prescott
    5 points: Jackson Morris, of Flagstaff(✓Qualified for FlagSlam team alternate)
    4 points: Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff
    4 points: Mikel Weisser, of Kingman
    3.5 points: Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff
    3 points: Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff
    3 points: Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff
    3 points: Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff(✓Qualified for FlagSlam team)
    2.5 points: Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood
    2 points: Gary Every, of Sedona
    2 points: Tom Heymsfeld, of Sedona
    1 point: Aaron Johnson, of Phoenix
    1 point: Bill Campana, of Mesa
    1 point: Brian Linari, of Flagstaff
    1 point: Deborah Berman, of Phoenix
    1 point: Ellenelizabeth Cernek, of Sedona
    1 point: Gabbi Jue, of Flagstaff
    1 point: Jack Egan, of Sedona
    1 point: Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City
    1 point: Joe Montano III, of Phoenix
    1 point: Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School
    1 point: Kaye Pettit, of Flagstaff
    1 point: Kendra Kenj Shebala, of Flagstaff
    1 point: Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff
    1 point: Mary Elizabeth Skene, of Sedona
    1 point: Michelle Peterson, of Sedona
    1 point: Sean Patrick Mulroy, of New York City
    1 point: Seth Walker, of Texas
    0.5 points: Danielle Silver, of Sedona
    0.5 points: Gary Bowers, of Phoenix
    0.5 points: Josh Floyd, of Flagstaff
    0.5 points: Sasha Anderson, of Flagstaff
    0.5 points: Tanya Marcy, of Sedona

    Excluding Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona, Nodalone, Tara Pollock and Ryan Brown, all of Flagstaff, this is how the slam order will be:

    1st or 2nd Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff
    1st or 2nd Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff
    3rd Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff
    4th or 5th Mikel Weisser, of Kingman
    4th or 5th Austin Reeves, of Flagstaff
    6th or 7th Jackson Morris, of Flagstaff
    6th or 7th Frank O'Brien, of Prescott
    8th The Klute, of Phoenix
    9th or 10th Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix
    9th or 10th Lauren Perry, of Phoenix
    11th or 12th Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff
    11th or 12th Valence, of Flagstaff

    The Klute, Rowie Shebala, Lauren Perry, are all earning points for the Phoenix team. The Phoenix grand slam at Lawn Gnome will be May 25, so that may remove them from Sedona’s list if they opt for Phoenix.

    Christopher Harbster is lost somewhere in California.

    Jackson Morris is in a unique loophole I didn't account for of being an alternate. The Sedona slam rules only address poets who are primary members of teams being ineligible for the Grand Slam, so he wouldn't have to quit FlagSlam to compete for Sedona.

    1st, if any of the above poets decline to compete: Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood

    1st, if any 2 of the above poets decline to compete: Gary Every, of Sedona.
    (I have no contact for Tom Heymsfeld, but he could compete in the 1st slot if he comes to the Grand Slam and 2 of the above poets decline to compete AND if he beats Gary Every in a coin toss.)

    (1st, if any 3 of the above poets decline to compete: Tom Heymsfeld if he comes to the Grand Slam)

    If any 4 of the above poets decline to compete (which will likely be the case), then any of these poets are eligible, but will compete in the first few slots, determined at random:
    Aaron Johnson, of Phoenix
    Bill Campana, of Mesa
    Brian Linari, of Flagstaff
    Deborah Berman, of Phoenix
    Ellenelizabeth Cernek, of Sedona
    Gabbi Jue, of Flagstaff
    Jack Egan, of Sedona
    Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City
    Joe Montano III, of Phoenix
    Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School
    Kaye Pettit, of Flagstaff
    Kendra Kenj Shebala, of Flagstaff
    Lauren Hanss, of Flagstaff
    Mary Elizabeth Skene, of Sedona
    Michelle Peterson, of Sedona
    Sean Patrick Mulroy, of New York City
    Seth Walker, of Texas

    Sunday, May 6, 2012

    A brief history of FlagSlam Nationals Teams


    December 2000, FlagSlam founded.


    In 2001, 12th National Poetry Slam in Seattle, Wash.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Josh Fleming
    Nick Fox
    Chris Lane
    Christopher Fox Graham
    Alternate: Eric “A-rek” Matthew Dye
    Coach: Andy “War” Wall
    After I graduated from Arizona State University and made the FlagSlam team, I moved to Flagstaff in June.

    I tried out for the FlagSlam team in 2002 but pulled the "1" and got clobbered. I had already been planning the Save the Male Tour with Josh Fleming, so that was my summer instead. 

    In 2002, 13th National Poetry Slam in Minneapolis, Minn.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Suzy La Follette
    Logan Phillips
    Andy “War” Hall
    Dom Flemons
    Alternate: Jarrod Masseud Karimi (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    Coach and alternate: John Raymond Kofonow
    First tie at NPS: New York City-Urbana and Detroit

    In 2003, 14th National Poetry Slam in Chicago, Ill.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Suzy La Follette
    Logan Phillips
    Cass Hodges
    Dom Flemons
    Alternate: Julie Hudgens (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    Coach and alternate: John Raymond Kofonow
    I was a volunteer bout manager at NPS in 2003.

    In 2004: 15th National Poetry Slam in St. Louis, Mo.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Christopher Fox Graham
    Eric Larson
    Logan Phillips
    Brent Heffron
    Coaches: Mary Guaraldi, and John Raymond Kofonow
    First time all four NPS finalist teams were from west of the Mississippi River (Hollywood's Da Poetry Lounge, Denver, Dallas and Berkeley). One of the worst organized NPSes due to the location of venues relative to each other and the venues in question.


    In 2005: 16th National Poetry Slam in Albuquerque, N.M.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Chris Lane
    Logan Phillips
    Christopher Fox Graham
    Meghan Jones
    Aaron Johnson
    Coaches: Mary Guaraldi and John Raymond Kofonow
    FlagSlam sent a crew of poets and supporters because Albuquerque was so close. I was also legal guardian for my ward, Sarrah Wile. One of the best organized NPSes. All venues were within walking distance of the Hotel Blue. The hotel manager lost his job for what he allowed us to do, but won the Spirit of the Slam Award.

    In 2006: 17th National Poetry Slam in Austin, Texas:
    Aaron Johnson
    Christopher Fox Graham (kicked off team before the National Poetry Slam)
    Meghan Jones (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    Justin “Biskit” Powell
    Alternate: A.J. Moyer (Joined team)
    Coaches: Greg Nix (quit before the National Poetry Slam) and John Raymond Kofonow (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    This year was a train wreck. Those who know why, know why. I'm glad A.J., Aaron Johnson and Biskit had a good time at NPS, though.


    In 2007: 18th National Poetry Slam in Austin, Texas:
    Grand Slam Champion: Joseph Nieves
    Aaron Johnson
    Troy Thurman
    J.J. Valentine
    Last year Individual Poetry Slam Championships were held at NPS. They would be held at a separate event, the Individual World Poetry Slam starting in 2008.


    In 2008: 19th National Poetry Slam in Madison, Wis.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Frank O'Brien
    Ryan Brown
    John Cartier
    Jessica Guadarrama
    Alternate: Kami Henderson
    Coach: Dana Sakowicz


    In 2009: 20th National Poetry Slam in West Palm Beach, FL.
    Grand Slam Champion: Frank O'Brien
    Ryan Brown
    John Cartier
    Andrew “Antranormus” Wanner
    Jessica Guadarrama
    Coach: Dana Sakowicz

    In 2010: 21st National Poetry Slam in St. Paul, Minn:
    Grand Slam Champion: Ryan Brown
    Brian Towne
    Johnny P (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    RahMahMercy (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    Frank O'Brien (Joined team in Johnny P's slot)
    Christopher Fox Graham (Joined team in RahMahMercy's slot)
    Alternate: Christopher Harbster (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    I was going to be a volunteer bout manager at NPS in 2010, but wound up on the team.

    In 2011: 22nd National Poetry Slam in Cambridge and Boston, Mass.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Shaun “nodalone” Srivastava
    Maple Dewleaf
    Taylor Marie “Tay” Kayonnie-Ehrlich
    Christopher Harbster (quit before the National Poetry Slam)
    Alternate: Tyler “Valence” Sirvinskas (Joined team)
    I was a volunteer venue manager at NPS in 2011.
    In 2012: 23rd National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C.:
    Grand Slam Champion: Christopher Fox Graham
    Ryan Brown
    Tara Pollock (tied)
    Shaun “nodalone” Srivastava (tied)
    Alternate: Jackson Morris
    Photo by Tara Graeber
    The 2012 FlagSlam National Poetry Slam Team: Ryan Brown, left, Grand Slam Champion Christopher Fox Graham, Shaun "Nodalone" Srivastava and Tara Pollock. Jackson Morris won the alternate's slot.

    Friday, May 4, 2012

    Buy your tickets now for Saturday's Sedona Poetry Slam featuring Sean Patrick Mulroy

    Sean Patrick Mulroy features at the Sedona Poetry Slam on Saturday, May 5

    Sedona's Studio Live hosts a poetry slam Saturday, May 5, starting at 7:30 p.m. featuring New York City poet Sean Patrick Mulroy and hosted by Sedona poet Christopher Fox Graham.


    All poets are welcome to compete for the $75 grand prize and $25 second-place prize. The prize is funded in part by a donation from Verde Valley poetry supporter Jeanne Freeland.

    The slam will the sixth and last of the 2011-12 regular season, which has been more moving, more energetic and more intense because this year as poets compete for a slot in Sedona's first National Poetry Slam Team.

    After four years of collaborating with the Flagstaff and Phoenix metro area poetry slam scenes, the Sedona scene has the reputation and strength to send its own team to the 2012 National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C., in August. The eventual four-poet team will share the stage with 300 of the top poets in the United States, Canada and Europe, pouring out their words in a weeklong explosion of expression.

    This is the last slam of the regular season. The next slam will be invitation only and feature the best of the best poets competing for the coveted top four slots plus an alternate.

    Sean Patrick Mulroy
    A gifted writer and an accomplished performer, Mulroy (aka Sean Patrick Conlon) is a dedicated student of literature and a firm believer in the power of the oral tradition.

    Born and raised in Southern Virginia, the house where Mulroy grew up was built in 1801 and was commandeered by the union army during the Civil War to serve as a makeshift hospital.  As a Mulroy, Sean loved to peel back the carpets to show where the blood from hasty surgeries on wounded soldiers had stained the wooden floorboards.  Now he writes poems.

    Photo by Penmanship Books
    Mulroy is the author of “The Pornography Diaries,” a poetic study of love and sex as seen through the lens of media study and film analysis.  He also stars in a one-man show of the same name, combining original rock music and the poems from the book in a critically acclaimed multimedia tour-de-force.

    Mulroy has performed in 10 countries on three continents, participated in 6 national spoken-word competitions, written and recorded three albums of music, and released more than 10 chapbooks of original poetry. He has been published in both online and print journals, and has featured at literary festivals for universities and arts organizations all over the world. He is currently on tour full-time while working on three new manuscripts and a new musical project.

    Sedona Poetry Slam
    To compete in the slam, poets need at least three original poems, each three minutes long or shorter. No props, costumes or musical accompaniment are permitted. All types of poetry are welcome.

    The May 5 slam will be hosted by Graham, who represented Northern Arizona on the Flagstaff team at five National Poetry Slams between 2001 and 2010. Contact Graham at foxthepoet@yahoo.com to sign up to slam.

    Sedona National Poetry Slam Team
    Competing poets earn points with each Sedona Poetry Slam performance between Dec. 3 and Saturday, May 5. Every poet earns 1 point for performing or hosting and 1/2 point for calibrating. First place earns 3 additional points, second place earns 2 and third place earns 1.

    Based on points, the top 12 poets in May are eligible to compete for the four slots on the Sedona Poetry Slam Team, which will represent the community and Studio Live at the 2012 National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C.

    All poets are eligible in the slamoff except those already confirmed members of or coaching another National Poetry Slam or College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational or Brave New Voices team. Poets can compete for multiple teams during a season and still be eligible to compete in the Sedona team.

    For poetry slam standings, videos from past slams, and updates, visit foxthepoet.blogspot.com.


    What is Poetry Slam?
    Founded in Chicago in 1984, poetry slam is a competitive artistic sport. Poetry slams are judged by five randomly chosen members of the audience who assign numerical value to individual poets' contents and performances.

    Poetry slam has become an international artistic sport, with more than 100 major poetry slams in the United States, Canada, Australia and Western Europe.

    Tickets are $7 in advance and $12 the day of the event, available at Golden Word Books and Music, 3150 W. SR 89A, and online at studiolivesedona.com.

    Studio Live is located at 215 Coffee Pot Drive, West Sedona. For more information, call (928) 282-2688.

    Monday, April 30, 2012

    The 2012 FlagSlam National Poetry Slam Team

    Photo by Tara Graeber
    The 2012 FlagSlam National Poetry Slam Team: Ryan Brown, left, Grand Slam Champion Christopher Fox Graham, Shaun "Nodalone" Srivastava and Tara Pollock. Jackson Morris won the alternate's slot.

    The 2012 FlagSlam National Poetry Slam Team was decided Sunday, April 29, at Sundara in Flagstaff.

    Christopher Fox Graham narrowly edged out SlamMaster Ryan Brown by 0.1 for the Grand Slam Champion title. This will be Graham's sixth team (2001, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2010, 2012) and Brown's fourth (2008, 2009, 2010, 2012).
    Coming in tied at third was rookie Tara Pollock (2012) and last year's Grand Slam Champion Shaun "Nodalone" Srivastava (2011, 2012).
    Rookie Jackson Morris (2012) will be the team's alternate and coming with us to Charlotte, N.C., for the National Poetry Slam.

    The five of us will publish a team chapbook later this summer to help raise funds for the trip. Reserve your copy now ....

    Photo by Tara Graeber
    The 2012 FlagSlam Grand Slam competitors: Tara Pollock, left, Ryan Brown, Spencer Troth, Christopher Fox Graham, Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, Dan Rivera (front), Evan Dissinger (back), Josh Wiss, Victoria Nancy Eakin, Shaun "Nodalone" Srivastava, Vincent Ed-Venture "Vincent Vega" Simone and Jackson Morris.
    Congrats to the other Grand Slam finalists Evan Dissinger, Spencer Troth, Victoria (Nancy) Eakin, Tyler "Valence" Sirvinskas, Vincent Vega, Josh Wiss, Dan Rivera who put on a stellar competition.

    The 12 of us will be appearing the Poets of FlagSlam 2012-2013 Calendar due out later this year. Reserve your copy now ....

    Photo by Tara Graeber

    Tuesday, April 24, 2012

    Sean Patrick Mulroy features at the Sedona Poetry Slam on Saturday, May 5

    Sean Patrick Mulroy features at the Sedona Poetry Slam on Saturday, May 5

    Sedona's Studio Live hosts a poetry slam Saturday, May 5, starting at 7:30 p.m. featuring New York City poet Sean Patrick Mulroy and hosted by Sedona poet Christopher Fox Graham.


    All poets are welcome to compete for the $75 grand prize and $25 second-place prize. The prize is funded in part by a donation from Verde Valley poetry supporter Jeanne Freeland.

    The slam will the sixth and last of the 2011-12 regular season, which has been more moving, more energetic and more intense because this year as poets compete for a slot in Sedona's first National Poetry Slam Team.

    After four years of collaborating with the Flagstaff and Phoenix metro area poetry slam scenes, the Sedona scene has the reputation and strength to send its own team to the 2012 National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C., in August. The eventual four-poet team will share the stage with 300 of the top poets in the United States, Canada and Europe, pouring out their words in a weeklong explosion of expression.

    This is the last slam of the regular season. The next slam will be invitation only and feature the best of the best poets competing for the coveted top four slots plus an alternate.

    Sean Patrick Mulroy
    A gifted writer and an accomplished performer, Mulroy (aka Sean Patrick Conlon) is a dedicated student of literature and a firm believer in the power of the oral tradition.

    Born and raised in Southern Virginia, the house where Mulroy grew up was built in 1801 and was commandeered by the union army during the Civil War to serve as a makeshift hospital.  As a Mulroy, Sean loved to peel back the carpets to show where the blood from hasty surgeries on wounded soldiers had stained the wooden floorboards.  Now he writes poems.

    Photo by Penmanship Books
    Mulroy is the author of “The Pornography Diaries,” a poetic study of love and sex as seen through the lens of media study and film analysis.  He also stars in a one-man show of the same name, combining original rock music and the poems from the book in a critically acclaimed multimedia tour-de-force.

    Mulroy has performed in 10 countries on three continents, participated in 6 national spoken-word competitions, written and recorded three albums of music, and released more than 10 chapbooks of original poetry. He has been published in both online and print journals, and has featured at literary festivals for universities and arts organizations all over the world. He is currently on tour full-time while working on three new manuscripts and a new musical project.

    Sedona Poetry Slam
    To compete in the slam, poets need at least three original poems, each three minutes long or shorter. No props, costumes or musical accompaniment are permitted. All types of poetry are welcome.

    The May 5 slam will be hosted by Graham, who represented Northern Arizona on the Flagstaff team at five National Poetry Slams between 2001 and 2010. Contact Graham at foxthepoet@yahoo.com to sign up to slam.

    Sedona National Poetry Slam Team
    Competing poets earn points with each Sedona Poetry Slam performance between Dec. 3 and Saturday, May 5. Every poet earns 1 point for performing or hosting and 1/2 point for calibrating. First place earns 3 additional points, second place earns 2 and third place earns 1.

    Based on points, the top 12 poets in May are eligible to compete for the four slots on the Sedona Poetry Slam Team, which will represent the community and Studio Live at the 2012 National Poetry Slam in Charlotte, N.C.

    All poets are eligible in the slamoff except those already confirmed members of or coaching another National Poetry Slam or College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational or Brave New Voices team. Poets can compete for multiple teams during a season and still be eligible to compete in the Sedona team.

    For poetry slam standings, videos from past slams, and updates, visit foxthepoet.blogspot.com.


    What is Poetry Slam?
    Founded in Chicago in 1984, poetry slam is a competitive artistic sport. Poetry slams are judged by five randomly chosen members of the audience who assign numerical value to individual poets' contents and performances.

    Poetry slam has become an international artistic sport, with more than 100 major poetry slams in the United States, Canada, Australia and Western Europe.

    Tickets are $7 in advance and $12 the day of the event, available at Golden Word Books and Music, 3150 W. SR 89A, and online at studiolivesedona.com.

    Studio Live is located at 215 Coffee Pot Drive, West Sedona. For more information, call (928) 282-2688.

    Friday, April 20, 2012

    "Dear Pluto," by Christopher Fox Graham

    Dear Pluto
    By Christopher Fox Graham

    To the planet formerly known as Pluto,

    Though we will never meet
    I think I know you
    I am a speck of organic matter
    standing on the surface of your sister
    I am a speck of organic matter
    standing on the surface of your sister
    my people and I
    are converted from ice and dust
    electrified into existence
    by the mere circumstances
    of your sister Earth and nephew Moon
    dancing with tide pools
    when they were still in their infancy
    mere molecules slammed together
    and held onto each other in strings
    which took billions of years
    to mistake themselves in their reproduction
    to form this all-too-young boy
    sending you this letter
    forgive my impetuousness, dear Pluto
    but compared to you,
    I only have a second
    before this organic matter caves in on itself
    becomes dust and water to form something new
    all I have is my voice
    and I beg you to listen
    because although we will never meet
    I think I know you

    I’m not sure if you will receive this letter
    In the time it takes to reach you,
    I could bounce between here and the sun 16 times
    measured on your timescale
    my country is not even a year old yet

    You’re farther away from the sun
    than any of your siblings
    and while the rest of those planets circulate in lockstep
    in the same elliptical orbit
    yours is full of highs and lows
    as you rise above the plane
    and drop beneath it
    because you’re either bipolar
    of just refuse to conform
    be glad you’ve been able to do it so long
    here, those who are different
    either by choice or accident
    wind up getting bullied, brutalized or crucified
    and while I could explain what those words mean
    let’s hope that by the time one of us stands on your surface
    we’ve forgotten what they mean, too

    At Lowell Observatory in the hills overlooking Flagstaff
    astronomer Clyde Tombaugh picked you out from the black
    he watched you wander at the edge of the solar system
    and noted how you keep your distance
    from everyone else like you
    there are times when people here
    believe the sun is so far away they don’t feel warm anymore
    and they stare out into the black
    and wonder what’s like to just
    let go
    I know what it feels like to be alone, too
    there are times when people here
    believe the sun is so far away they don’t feel warm anymore
    and they stare out into the black
    and wonder what’s like to just let go
    I’m glad you’ve stayed with us, dear Pluto
    you show us that even when the universe is terrifying cold
    there’s some light to hold on to
    some reason to keep moving
    and even out there you and your moon Chiron
    prove you can find love anywhere

    since we began to worship stars
    we have followed your siblings
    the rocky worlds, the gas giants
    to us, if they were bigger than an asteroid or moon
    and weren’t furnaces like the sun,
    they were a planet
    deserving the name of a god
    an astrological house
    and a certain amount of inexplicable reverence
    but now because your size doesn’t fit new rules
    the International Astronomical Union on my world
    has decided you are no longer a planet
    you were nine children of a yellow sun
    on the rural edge of the galaxy

    but now because your size doesn’t fit new rules
    the International Astronomical Union on my world
    has decided you are no longer a planet
    you don’t meet the qualifications anymore
    you no longer govern an astrological house
    they took you away from you were to us

    because some ink on paper said you didn’t matter anymore
    they put you a box labeled “dwarf planets” or “Plutoids”
    only to be ostracized from your brothers and sisters
    by faceless strangers at the stroke of pen

    here, we label people too,
    segregate them into boxes
    based on the color of their skins
    or which one of those gods they called out to while dying
    or whether they love someone with the same or different parts
    or in what way they their throats make noises to communicate
    or even by where they were born
    as if point of origin means anything
    on a planet spinning 1,600 kilometers per second,
    where specks like me have wandered to every part of it
    tell me, dear Pluto
    can you see the borders of our nations from out there?
    it seems that’s all we can see down here sometimes
    can you tell us apart?
    if we one day reach you
    dig our fingers into your dirt
    would you care about what language we used
    to tell each other how beautiful the moment was?

    Dear Pluto,
    I know what it feels like to be small
    I’m still a little boy, too
    playing grown-up games
    wondering what happens
    when there’s nothing left to orbit anymore

    Though we will never meet
    you don’t have to answer this letter if it ever reaches you
    but I think you know me,
    I am a tiny voice on your sister Earth
    and you are Pluto, the ninth planet of the sun

    Sunday, April 15, 2012

    "Eight-Armed Revenge" by Christopher Fox Graham

    "Eight-Armed Revenge"
    By Christopher Fox Graham
    For Sedona Public Library's Spring/Earth Day Celebration
    Inspired by The Klute's poem "Whale War III"

    Dear Bipeds,

    you are almost at the point of no return
    so we’d like to get some things
    off our arms

    now you mammals
    and we cephalopods
    have been at war
    since the first sperm whale
    and giant squid
    grappled in the deep
    dueling tooth to tentacle

    your fishermen hunted our cousins
    and our krakens plucked sailors
    from your ships
    but this cold water war could only last so long

    you see, Bipeds,
    times are changing thanks to your recklessness
    and when the mass extinctions begin
    we want you to know
    who’ll be taking the driver’s seat

    you’ve been dumping your garbage
    into our home for far too long
    farming our prey to extinction
    turning us into delicacies like sushi

    we understand fishing
    we’re predators, too
    though we don’t know how salmon, cod, or tuna taste cooked
    fresh and raw, they’re scrumptious

    now the chemicals are inexcusable
    so we stay away from shore
    but in the middle of the endless ocean
    islands of trash float ignored
    except by us
    we’re learning how to your trash like tools
    we didn’t need Prometheus
    just Poseidon
    when the first of us
    learned how to reshape a soda can
    into an arrowhead
    and make fishing spear
    your days of hegemony were numbered

    The Deep Horizon oil spill was the last straw
    one bridge too far,
    one drop in the bucket too many
    so now we’re arming

    you’re not destroying the environment
    you’re destroying your environment
    and if you pump too much CO2 into the skies
    something will evolve to thrive on it
    life always finds a way to survive
    but know, Bipeds, that that species
    may not be yours
    98 percent of the species who have called this rock home are extinct
    Mother Earth doesn’t care which one of us rules
    and to her, extinction is a hiccup
    and there is always an understudy
    ready to take the starring role
    and evolve into the dominant species

    we’ve seen it many times before
    your dying rainforests aren’t the first
    we remember the Carboniferous Rainforest Collapse 300 million years ago
    when your ancestors were still cold-blooded amphibians

    we watched continents drift and volcanoes erupt
    we had front row seats for a dozen meteor impacts
    at the end of the Permian, Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous, Eocene and Neogene Periods
    we dined under the waves as the bodies of dinosaurs washed out to sea
    as the mice that would eventually become you
    took over

    now you’ve decided to join the Thunder Lizards in the fossil record
    so we’re putting you on notice that this is our time,
    this will soon be our world

    so when you’ve suicided yourselves into history
    and wiped the surface clean of all the major predators
    we, octopuses, squids, nautiluses and cuttlefish will begin our migrations to land
    flopping tentacles onto dry land
    planting flags made your leftover refuse
    and declaring these continents as ours
    evolving into land creatures
    over the next millions of years
    building cities and civilizations
    and teaching our children from the moment they hatch
    if you’re going to pollute your world
    you going to get what you deserve

    but worry not, Bipeds,
    even in your deaths,
    you’ll still be useful
    millions of years from now
    as we pump what remains of you
    into our gas tanks and rocket ships
    and sail out into the stars
    away from this graveyard of the fallen
    this tomb of species who failed to learn


    From "The Future Is Wild:The Tentacled Forest Part 3"


    Octopuses regularly move across dry land in tidal pools searching for food and escaping aquatic predators. Generally nocturnal, this one was video taped in daytime.