This is the official blog of Northern Arizona slam poet Christopher Fox Graham. Begun in 2002, and transferred to blogspot in 2006, FoxTheBlog has recorded more than 670,000 hits since 2009. This blog cover's Graham's poetry, the Arizona poetry slam community and offers tips for slam poets from sources around the Internet. Read CFG's full biography here. Looking for just that one poem? You know the one ... click here to find it.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

"Open Letter to the Women on Tinder" by Christopher Fox Graham

(a poem I wrote for a feature at Juniper House to subtly announce Laura and I were having a baby)

Maddy, 21, Northern Arizona University
while I find your pink hair punky and cute
and your nose piercing a subtle rebellion against your Baptist upbringing
that I would certainly encourage ...
perhaps too far ...
until your arms were awash
in a “Fuck Jesus” tattooed sleeve
we will show off to your parents at Thanksgiving

I must regretfully inform you
that as it happens, there is a redheaded woman
who has captured my interest
thus henceforth,
I will be unavailable to foster your personal experimentation

Kase, 34, UCLA
I noticed that you opt to spell K-A-S-E, sans accent mark,
thus I appreciate your sense of brevity 
and getting to the point
even in neglecting the apostrophe in “I’m” 
to save yourself a keystroke,
yet, it is my sad duty to report
that we will never clip sentences together,
as there happens to be woman in my life
of even shorter contextualization
who can speak volumes with a glance
hint with an eyebrow,
that today, of all Tuesdays,
there may be no panties beneath her skirt
and with a wink, 
invite me to wonder about that all afternoon

Sommer, 21, Northern Arizona University
I could have toyed with your name had met in the summer
but you spell it with an “O,” which is no season
your yoga backbend is impressive
and must have taken months to perfect,
let alone set up the camera,
but with sorrow,
which I also choose to spell with an “O”
that the woman who now shares my bed
can arch her back nearly as far,
but does so not to demonstrate impressive flexibility
but rather quite involuntarily
when I am in the picture
but my face out of frame
obscured by her thighs
but I will let slip that her toes curl
in much the same fashion

Mary, 25, no university listed
your come-hither looks will certainly draw the eyes
of the lover you seek,
though it is with some sadness 
that I have seen your photos before
under a different name
and I have reason to believe 
you may be a Russian hacker
attempting to steal my credit card number
that being said,
it is with some quiet joy that I must reveal
a woman with the same come-hither glance
can do so without a hint of deception
she can strip the secrecy from my tongue
and I have been unable to conjure any falsehoods in her arms

Heather, 30, Maricopa Community College
I must admit it was hard to get a look at you
because you were always slightly out of frame
so I had to puzzle-piece your face together
you should not fear the camera,
not with that kind smile,
but alas, I will be unable to help improve your photography skills
as there is a woman who currently eats up all my photo card memory
leaving me little room for anyone else

Laura, 26, Purdue
Your inviting smile
sitting on the edge of the bed
is coy, while still innocent
I’m certain your conversation would be equally enticing
but I, unfortunately, will never know,
as I have found a woman,
coincidently with your name
to whisper such conflictions into my ears
but, like you, she is a mother,
or at least soon will be
and I wonder if I love our child as you must love yours
I feel I must add at this junction that I will be deleting this app
as it no longer serve a purpose,
except to serve as the prompt for a poem

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