The Loch Ness Monster vs Trolls: In Haiku

These were a series of haikus I used in a head-to-head death match against Tucson's Teresa Driver in October. Just found them.

I was assigned the Loch Ness Monster, she was assigned trolls. Enjoy.

Loch Ness Monster Haiku #1
Bring it on, you trolls
come to the shore and face
my Flippers of Doom


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #2
Monster of Loch Ness
rises from the deep to feed
tourists run screaming


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #3
They say I'm hiding
I'm just biding my time
2012 is near


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #4
Trolls carry spears, swords
and have to hunt in packs.
Bite, swallow, then nap.


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #5
At Moria mines,
even Hobbits fought the troll
but all flee from me


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #6
Dungeons & Dragons
has many troll editions.
But I need just one.


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #7
Fear trolls at nighttime.
In daylight, walk free. At sea,
you always fear me.


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #8
If troll comes for you
he must sneak in. If I come --
you can't hide. You're doomed.


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #9
The troll-free Bible
names both Leviathan and
Jonah's whale. Tremble!


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #10
"Jaws" "The Abyss" and
"It Came From the Black Lagoon"
Name a troll movie.


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #11
Captain Jack Sparrow
Spent three films running from me
What film do trolls have?


Loch Ness Monster Haiku #12
The Leviathan
even made Yahweh tremble.
Bible is troll-free