Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster performs in the third round of the Sedona Poetry Slam, 12-3-2011

Photo by Saar Ingelbert

Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster

Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster performs in the third round of the Sedona Poetry Slam on Dec. 3, 2011

"Poetic Babysitting," by Christopher Fox Graham

"Poetic Babysitting:

How to turn a child into a poet"

By Christopher Fox Graham
for Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster

Before he was You Phonik,
turning straw words Rumpelstiltskin-style into golden poetry

Photo by Saar Ingelbert

Christopher Fox Graham, left, used to babysit Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster in
Chandler, Ariz., where they both grew up.

Before he was crushed by the black onyx

Before earning 10, 10, 10
from poetry slam judges
I knew him as a boy of 10
standing no taller than my waist,

In the world before we knew poetry
he was young Christopher Harbster,
and I, Christopher Fox Graham, was his babysitter
my mission at 17 was to
make sure he could play freely
while his parents were out on the town

As long as ate his vegetables
and was in bed by 8,
I’d earn 40 dollars when they got home at 11

Now the truth is
if you know the man he has become
who stays awake for days
because there is so much poetry
spinning in his head
that he can’t sleep without writing it down
putting him to bed by 8 was impossible
he’d always have another reason
to play hide-and-go-seek
or shoot laser guns
or make forts from the furniture

his parents wanted obedience
but I’m terrible at discipline
and 8 o’clock became 8:30 then 9 o’clock, then 9:30
finally, the rule was: as long as you run to bed
when we hear the garage door open
and can pretend to be asleep
when they go into to check on you
little man, you have the right to stay up
as long as your imagination
can keep your eyelids open
if your dreams can transform this living room
into a battlefield
those sofa cushions into the Alamo
of humanity’s last stand
and the plastic water gun into a laser pistol
blasting away at alien invaders
then the clocks on the wall
are just a few more enemies
we have yet to vanquish tonight
before the Armageddon of your parents
at the gates of doom
brings it all to an inevitable conclusion

now his sister was well-behaved
and would have obeyed her parents’ rules
whether I was there or not
but Christopher was my favorite
because he knew that rules
were made to be broken
which is why he writes free verse
and goes way over time during slams
because, fuck it, the audience needs to hear these words

it wasn’t until years later,
when a boy with a familiar appearance
and an identical name
appeared on a Flagstaff poetry slam stage
and whooped my ass in this game of verbs
that all those years came rushing back
and I realized that giving a boy freedom
can do more to raise him right
than rules, rhetoric and schooling

So I’d like to use this stage and this night
to take credit for gifting him the art of poetry
and announce the CFG Corporation for Poetic Babysitting
parents, for the low, low price of paper and pens
hire me to watch your children
while you enjoy dinner out
your children will learn how to break the rules

“yes, Michael, you can jump on the bed,
but only if it’s the surface of the moon
and you have to do it in iambic pentameter”

“Rachel, you’re right, vegetables are awesome slingshot ammunition,
but aim higher, you have to clear the backyard fence,
and spit lines about flying
from the perspective of the broccoli”

Photo by Saar Ingelbert

Chris "You Phonik" Harbster plays violin in his Flagstaff apartment.

“Julia, your crayon mural in the hallway
could use a little more cerulean blue
those clouds have to stand out in the hunter green sky,”

“Jonathan, remember:

rhinoceroses

with odd numbers of flippers

just swim in circles,

and that’s a haiku”

I’d like espouse my wisdom with words
and squeeze its juice into eager minds
to turn your children into poets like Christopher Harbster

but the truth might be
I was a blank slate before I met him
there was so much poetry in that 10-year-old boy
aching for a page or microphone
that it couldn’t help but to seep out of him
and linger in the air

I must have breathed it in
when I was hyperventilating in those cramped spaces beneath the coffee table
during hide-and-seek

maybe it just spilled out like a blanket
on the sofa when he fell asleep next to me
watching the PG-13 movie
as his dreams gestated into poems
he would later spit on this stage

or maybe the weight of it sank into my spine
when carried him on my back in the yard
because he wanted to get just a little closer to the stars

in his hugs
I felt the tremor in his shoulder blades
that were beginning to push feathers through the skin

now on the right night,
when the lights are dim
and you’re drunk on his verses
you swear can see wings made of words

-- his halo glows a lot like these lights back here --

if I could go back in time
I’d tell that prodigy of a boy:
"you’ll be a great poet one day"

but I know he’d answer:
"I’m just waiting the mics to be hot enough,
now go pave the way for me
I’ll meet you on the stage
when you’re ready"

Rowie Shebala wins the January Sedona Poetry Slam

Rowie Shebala won the second Sedona Poetry Slam on Saturday, Jan. 7.

Rowie Shebala wins the second Sedona Poetry Slam of the 2011-12 National Poetry Slam Season.

Benediction: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona

Round 1
Random Draw
Calibration: Danielle Silver, of Sedona

Ellenelizabeth, of Sedona, 18.6
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 27.0
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 27.0
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 29.0
Gabbie Jue, of Winslow, 27.6
Kendra Shebala, of Flagstaff, 25.5
Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff, 29.7
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 29.3, after 0.5 time penalty
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 29.2
Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School, 28.9
Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood, 29.0
Christopher Harbster, , of Flagstaff, 29.0
Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix, 30.0

Sorbet: Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff

Round 2
Reverse Order

Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix, 29.4, 59.4
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 27.8, 56.8
Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood, 28.8, 57.8
Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School, 27.6, 56.5
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 28.2, after 1.5 time penalty, 57.2
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 29.7, 59.0
Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff, 28.7, after 1.0 time penalty, 58.4
Kendra Shebala, of Flagstaff, 27.4, 52.9
Gabbie Jue, of Winslow, 28.4, 56.0
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 28.7, after 1.0 time penalty, 57.7
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 30.0, 57.0
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 29.1, 56.1
Ellenelizabeth, of Sedona, 25.3, 43.9

Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff, featured at the
Sedona Poetry Slam on Jan. 7.

Feature: Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff

Sorbet: Gary Bowers, of Phoenix

Round 3
High to Low (Top 7)

Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix, 29.4, 88.8
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 29.5, 88.5
Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff, 28.9, 87.3
Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood, 29.1, 86.9
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 26.5, after 3.5 time penalty, 84.2
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 29.6, 86.8
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 29.8, 86.8

Final Scores

Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix, 88.8
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott, 88.5
Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff, 87.3
Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood, 86.9
TIE: Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff, 86.8
TIE: Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 86.8
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 84.2


Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 56.8
Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School, 56.5Kendra Shebala, of Flagstaff, 52.9
Gabbie Jue, of Winslow, 56.0
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 56.1Ellenelizabeth, of Sedona, 43.9

Sedona National Poetry Slam Team

Slamoff Point Standings

4 points
Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff
The Klute, of Phoenix
Rowie Shebala, of Phoenix
 3 points
Frank O'Brien, of Prescott

2 points
Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix
Tara Pollock, of Flagstaff
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman
nodalone, of Flagstaff
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff
1 point
Bert Cisneros, of Cottonwood
Ellenelizabeth, of Sedona
Evan Dissinger, of Flagstaff
Gabbi Jue, of Flagstaff
Jack Egan, of Sedona
Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City
Josh Goldberg, of Oak Creek Ranch School
Kendra Kenj Shebala, of Flagstaff
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff
Valence, of Flagstaff
 0.5 points

Danielle Silver, of Sedona
Gary Bowers, of Phoenix
Gary Every, of Sedona

Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster performs in the first round of the Sedona Poetry Slam, 12-3-2011

Photo by Saar Ingelbert

Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster

Christopher "You Phonik" Harbster performs in the first round of the Sedona Poetry Slam on Dec. 3, 2011

The Klute wins the December Sedona Poetry Slam

After a high-stakes Haiku Death Match, TheKlute wins the first Sedona Poetry Slam of the 2011-12 National Poetry Slam Season.

Photo courtesy of Jessica Mason-Paul

With his Dec. 3 win, The Klute now leads the Sedona National Poetry
Slam Team Standings.

Benediction: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona

Round 1
Random Draw
Calibration: Gary Every, of Sedona

Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 27.4
Jack Egan, of Sedona, 25.4
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 26.1
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff, 26.8
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 26.5
The Klute, of Phoenix, 28.2
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 27.5
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 26.6
Valence, of Flagstaff, 27.8
Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff, 28.9

Sorbet: Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City

Round 2
Reverse Order

Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff, 27.3, 56.2
Valence, of Flagstaff, 26.4, 54.2
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 27.0, 53.6
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 27.0, 54.5
The Klute, of Phoenix, 28.5, 56.7
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 27.1, 53.6
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff, 25.4, 52.2
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 26.1, 52.2
Jack Egan, of Sedona, of , 000, 000
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 28.3, 55.7

Feature: Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City

Sorbet: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona

Round 3
High to Low

The Klute, of Phoenix, 27.9, 84.6
Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff, 28.4, 84.6
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 28.3, 000
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 27.8, 82.3
Valence, of Flagstaff, 27.4, 81.6
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 26.9, 80.5
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 27.0, 80.6
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff, 26.1, 78.3
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 26.5, 78.7
Jack Egan, of Sedona , 28.2, 79.9
Sorbet: Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona

Final Scores

The Klute, of Phoenix, 84.6, winning Haiku Death Match 3-2.
Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff, 84.6, losing Haiku Death Match 3-2.
Lauren Perry, of Phoenix, 84.0
nodalone, of Flagstaff, 82.3
Valence, of Flagstaff, 81.6
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 80.6
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff, 80.5
Jack Egan, of Sedona, 79.9
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 78.7
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff, 78.3

Sedona National Poetry Slam Team

Slamoff Point Standings

4 points

The Klute, of Phoenix

3 points

Ryan Brown, of Flagstaff

2 points

Lauren Perry, of Phoenix

1 point

Jahnilli Akbar, of New York City
Jack Egan, of Sedona
Christopher Fox Graham, of Sedona
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff
nodalone, of Flagstaff
Spencer Troth, of Flagstaff
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman
Josh Wiss, of Flagstaff
Valence, of Flagstaff
0.5 points
Gary Every, of Sedona

Shaikh Sammad wins the Oct. 23 Sedona Poetry Slam

Results from the Sedona Poetry Slam

Shaihk Sammad won the Sedona Poetry Slam, held Saturday, Oct. 23, 2010, Studio Live, Sedona, Arizona, 7:30 p.m.

We had veteran slammers but also a first-time slammer who gave it a go. We love these "virgin" slam poets because we were all first-timers once. We also admire the bravery to get up on stage for the first time. There were a lot of 10.0s, which are indicated by an asterisk *.

Round 1
Random Draw

Calibration poet and host Christopher Fox Graham of Sedona, "This County: A Lover's Geography"

Brian Towne, of Flagstaff, 27.5, (2:48)*
Christopher Harbster, of Flagstaff, 28.1, (3:06)**
Mikel Weisser, of Kingman, 29.0, (2:56)***
Shaikh Sammad, of Cottonwood, 29.9, (2:59)***
Maple Dewleaf, of Flagstaff, 26.8, (2:10)*
Richard Wagner, a first-time slammer from Ontario, Canada, 22.6, (1:34)
James Joseph Buhs, of White Plains, N.Y., 26.9, (3:02)**
Jessica Laurel Reese, of the Village of Oak Creek, 29.2, (1:34)*

Teaser poem by feature poet Doc Luben, "A New Hand"

Round 2
Reverse Order

Jessica Laurel Reese, 27.3, (2:25), 56.5*
James Joseph Buhs, 29.4, (2:20), 56.3**
Richard Wagner, 22.6, (1:16), 45.2*
Maple Dewleaf, 27.9, (1:55), 54.7*
Shaikh Sammad, 30.0, (2:55), 59.9****
Mikel Weisser, 28.1, (2:12), 54.7*
Christopher Harbster, 28.2, (2:17), 56.3
Brian Towne, 30.0, (2:43), 57.5****

Feature Poet

Doc Luben is a Tucson slam poet with more than a decade of professional theatre experience.

Luben has been stomping the stage in Los Angeles and Arizona since well before 1990. He recently completed a 17-city national poetry tour from Orlando, Fla., to Chicago to Detroit to Denver and many wild points between.

Luben was a panelist and performer at the 2010 Phoenix Comic-Con Nerd Slam and was the Tucson Poetry Slam Champion in 2009.

Luben's performance is a cocktail of twisty magic realism and sneaky, snarky humor. His poems are compressed life stories, marked by a rosy-cheeked love of screw-ups and contempt for those who claim enlightenment.

Luben earned his street cred in 1990s Los Angeles, writing and performing in loading-dock theater and guerrilla improv. He then squandered all of that street cred on a decade of Shakespeare with the Arizona Classical Theatre. In Prescott, he was tempted into the evils of slam poetry at the McCormick Arts District's poetry venue, the MAD Linguist.

Doc performed twice in the Arizona All-Star Slam, and enough time has gone by that he can reveal he did not technically qualify either time: they bent the rules to get him on stage, because he is just that good.

Luben was a featured poet at the first and later the last Arizona Spoken Word Festival and Slab City Slam at Arcosanti, the state's slam poetry tournament.

His plays have been featured productions at ACT, and has proudly taught subversive youth performance workshops for two decades. Luben trained at the freakishly progressive California Institute of the Arts, where they absolutely do not have Walt Disney's head frozen in the basement.

Also, your girlfriend has a crush on him. Don't worry. It's normal.

Round 3
High to Low

Shaikh Sammad, 29.6, (2:37), 89.5**
Brian Towne, 29.3, (2:51), 86.8*
Mikel Weisser, 28.1, (1:55), 85.2
Jessica Laurel Reese, 27.4, 26.9 after a -0.5 time penalty (3:18), 83.4
James Joseph Buhs, 27.9, (2:12), 84.2*
Christopher Harbster, 28.3, (2:39), 84.6*
Maple Dewleaf, 28.9, (2:13), 83.6*
Richard Wagner, 25.4, (0:35), 70.6

Final scores
1st: Shaikh Sammad, 89.5, $100

2nd: Brian Towne, 86.8

3rd: Mikel Weisser, 85.2

Christopher Harbster, 84.6
James Joseph Buhs, 84.2
Maple Dewleaf, 83.6
Jessica Laurel Reese, 83.4
Richard Wagner, 70.6

Slam staff

Scorekeeper and Timekeeper: Sarah Lepich
Host: Christopher Fox Graham
Organizers:
April Holman Payne, Studio Live
Christopher Fox Graham, Sedona 510 Poetry

Next Sedona Poetry Slam: Saturday, Dec. 11, 2010, Studio Live, Sedona, Arizona, 7:30 p.m., featuring Mesa's Brit Shostak.