Ashley Haiku

I have a complicated, fucked-up relationship with Ashley whom I care for deeply but who seems to live life as a train wreck, so I post these haiku about us unapologetically.

Trinity. Little Boy.
Fat Man. Bikini. Ashley,
the Drama Bomb

Perfect love affair.
If I weren't an asshole and
you weren't a train wreck.

If you had the time,
I could name the boys she's fucked.
Or, list all my friends.

Roommates are angry
although everyone got fucked.
Ashley has been here

Eggs are on the floor
Condoms are in the toilet
"rhy0t" parked out front
"Last night, Ash called me"
"What time? Was it around 2?"
"Yes" "When the bars close"

If she hasn't kissed
or fucked you yet, you haven't
lived in my house long.

If she wasn't she
and I was more forgetful
we might work some day.

I learn from this love.
Every relationship hence
will be a cakewalk.

Clenched fists as door creaks.
Drunk, she'll want me to love her.
Sober, I'll resist.

Despite this chaos,
I still blindly hope someday
this love might work. Fool.
It's not a migraine.
Yes, you only drank three beers.
But ate three Valium.

Wrap arms around her.
Protect from evil.
She's her own worst enemy.

One roommate angry.
Another sleepy and drained.
More Ashley roulette.

Love. Hate. Love. Hate. Love.
Hate. Love. Hate. Love. Hate. Love. Hate.
What day is today?

Ash, you break my heart.
I want you to love yourself
the way I love you.
Drinks. Pops a sleeping pill.
Wakes with migraine. Takes pain pill.
Goes to bar. Repeat.

"Sex isn't love?" she asks.
"No, he fucked you," I tell her.
"But that isn't love."

"I didn't fuck him,"
she says, climbing in my bed,
panties inside out.

Honey, I love you,
but you're covered in vomit
and you stepped in eggs

You love your daughter,
yet act like no one matters,
what will you tell her?

You'd be worth my love
and that of a million men
if you just weren't you

My poems about you
revolve around booze, pills, sex
why can't we change this?

Calendar dates change
events merge, split, fade or glow -
memory useless

Remember the time
when I said if I loved you?
No? Oh, you were drunk.

Nude the next morning
she can't recall if we fucked
or just slept naked

She weighs ninety pounds
when she's sober. When she's drunk
she weighs three-hundred

Prohibit liquor ...
uninvent pills ... neuter jerks ...
she could act decent

You fucked Mazzella
and Greg Nix? For the Nobel
Prize in dumb choices?

She heads to DefCon
I wonder if her rep is
like in Sedona

Despite all of this,
I love so I can save her
yet know I will fail.
Toss out all your pills
grab your daughter, hit the road
leave our pasts behind.