Nate Mullins Haiku

Nate Mullins Mustache Haiku

How do you give
Nate Mullins his closest shave?
Hide his Magic Marker

Nate Mullins' Fake Package Haiku
Yin Yang and Zen Some
makes great music, but Nate joined
for the free codpiece

Nate as Lead Singer Haiku
Nate tells his agent:
"I won't sing for any band
if there's no facepaint."

It will be dawn soon
But in Band House's basement
Nate's laptop still hums

Worst Wingman. Ever. Haiku
He said I cockblocked
Well, his actual words were:
"You acted like Nate"

How to Make a Nate Mullins Haiku
Five percent Cordova
Five percent Sitka
Ninety percent awesome

Nate Has a Girlfriend? Haiku
Mystery of our time:
Jessica Hecht with Nate?
Ah! She lost a bet

Deer in headlights said,
"Wow, I must have looked really stunned,
like Nate in New York"

Nate's Erectile Dysfuction Haiku
Couldn't get it up
but we found cure for problem
Thank you, Cialis!

Have you seen Nate's hair?
you could bounce a quarter off
of that pompadour

Why Nate Wants to Advertise Abilify, the Anti-Psychotic Medication Haiku
Not just a member
but Nate's also president
Now he will stab you

Nate's So Vain I Bet He Thinks This Haiku is About Him Haiku
Eavesdropped an hour
but he only got angry
when the topic changed

In the Land of Crazy
the half-sane man is king.
And Nate? Bureaucrat

Palin was strike one.
Nate was strike two. Alaska,
three strikes and you're out

Seward's Folly Revealed Haiku
What's "buyer's remorse?"
Knowing we bought Alaska
not expecting Nate

Nate's Secret Alaskan Invasion Plan Haiku No. 1
First, test the waters
then bring the Sitka vanguard
soon we'll be knee-deep

Nate's Secret Alaskan Invasion Plan Haiku No. 2
Nate moves Sitka here.
Jake and Sam were just the first,
nine thousand to go

No Jesus, no peace.
Know Jesus, know peace. No Nate,
know peace and quiet
Haiku Death Match at Sedona's GumptionFest IV on Saturday, Sept. 5.